Do you consider yourself a whole person that is ready for marriage? Your future spouse deserves to marry a whole person. You may wonder what does a whole person look like. Well, a whole person is one who has taken the time to develop fully as an adult, a person who has taken his or her personal inventory and has made the decision to heal from past hurts and leave all past baggage behind. A whole person has created healthy boundaries with their families (specifically their parents) so that they are prepared to enter an adult relationship without interference from friends and family. A whole person has experienced living self-sufficiently and understands the importance of financial responsibility, and having time alone to mature and experience life as an adult.
You may not be a “WHOLE PERSON” IF:
- You consult your parents first when you have personal problems
- You allow your parents to financially support you
- You allow your parents to manipulate you
- You do not express your thoughts and feelings toward others
- You put your family before your partner
- You live at home because you are afraid to explore the world as an adult
- You continue to reside in selfishness, thinking only of self
- You do not know how to problem solve
- You cannot think critically
- You haven’t not experienced and handled life’s challenges successfully
One of my favorite television shows is “Chopped” that airs on the Food Network. If you haven’t seen the show the premise is that four chefs compete in timed competitions to make three dishes, each round somebody is eliminated. The chefs stand before a panel of judges and they listen to the judges critique their finished dishes. One of the obstacles within the competition is that for each meal the chefs cook they have to use specified ingredients, some ingredients they have used before and some they may be unfamiliar with.
Well, I began to think about what if we used a relationship version of chopped. What if, when we decided we were ready to marry we dated several people at a time; lets say four dates at a time. How wonderful if the potential mates could audition for a place in your heart, to see if they really loved you and to see if they were marriage material.
The first round would warrant that a contestant desires to marry, passes all perquisites such as (good financial standing, sharing values/religion, future goals and family values, work ethic, sexual past etc.) this would hopefully insure that you are on the same page with your date. If they didn’t pass the test then they would be CHOPPED.
The second round would require that there is enough attraction, in other words are you in love, are you sexually, mentally, emotionally attracted to your date? Do you desire to be with this individual? If they didn’t pass the test then they would be CHOPPED.
The third round would require that your date is able to past the family test. If your date met your friends and family (provided they are mature and emotionally and spiritually sound) would they receive a favorable review? If they didn’t pass the test then they would be CHOPPED.
The fourth round would require a proposal in a timely manner and respect for moral values. Meaning that your potential mate should not attempt to live with you before marriage or to have sex with you out of marriage. The winner of relationship chopped would be spiritually mature, ready to commit, would not have to wait on a divorce, and would not drag his or her feet by delaying the proposal or having an extended engagement. If they didn’t pass the test then they would be CHOPPED.
It should be this simple, and you should have requirements for the person that you decide to marry.