What is the difference between successful and unsuccessful marriages???

Many people decide to commit to marriage every year, yet as we all know the divorce statistics are at an all time high. What makes some marriages last and others dissolve, sometimes very early; a couple of years or less. Many experts and others in the field would probably have many theories as to why so many marriages end in divorce. Well, I think that several considerations should be mentioned when trying to figure out the marriage dissolution maze. I purpose the following reasons as to why some marriages last and others do not.

Marriages that don’t work:

FIRST: Marriage is forever, at least it used to be. Many couples in today’s world enter marriage with the thought process that if things get “sticky” or if the couple becomes unhappy a divorce is just one legal document away. Marriage is no longer forever!

SECOND: There seems to be this unrealistic belief that marriage brings happiness. This is a touchy subject, many don’t like when I inform them that their spouse is not responsible for their overall happiness. This is a heavy burden to place on another person, to make someone else responsible for their happiness. A spouse can do little things to make you happy and two people can create awesome memories, but at the end of the day true happiness comes from GOD and self. It is each individual person’s responsibility to create a relationship with God and to find out his or her purpose in life, which will lead to happiness. To say that a husband or wife has to make someone else happy takes away individual responsibility. Ideally, only whole and happy people should marry, thereby lessening the pressure that can be put upon a spouse to create happiness.

THIRD: Many people show up in marriage with many wounds; such as past physical and sexual abuse, abandonment issues by parents, trust issues from prior relationships, and mental health issues. All of this can lead to a volatile relationship. Wounded people marry looking for someone to HEAL them.

FOURTH: Many couples are selfish and not willing to work through the hard times. Couples like instant gratification and when they do not get instant gratification they become angry, bitter, and resentful. Most couples spend time crying and talking about how and why they are unhappy instead of investing that time into their relationship.

Marriages that work:

1. Individuals allow selfish needs to die
2. Divorce is not an option simply because someone is unhappy
3. Individuals have a relationship with God
4. Individuals are self-aware and work on healing and solving their issues from the past
5. Individuals understand that they are responsible for their own happiness
6. Individuals are aware of their role in the marriage and execute it daily

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Are You Marriage Worthy……..

Are you worthy of marriage? Are you dating and thinking about getting engaged? How do you know if you are worthy of marriage? Do you know why you want to get married? Before marriage takes place, you have to be sure you are worthy of the title of Husband or Wife, so how does one know if they are worthy of marriage? Hopefully this will help you figure out if you are worthy:

  1. You are worthy of marriage if you are socially and emotionally mature.
  2. You are worthy of marriage if you are single (not engaged, NOT SEPARATED, and not a SERIAL SPOUSE (multiple failed marriages).
  3. You are worthy of marriage if you are financially secure.
  4. You are worthy of marriage if you are able to leave your family and cleave to your potential spouse.
  5. You are worthy of marriage if you are mature enough to commit, putting selfishness aside and understand the purpose of marriage.
  6. You are worthy of marriage if you know that God has to be the head of the relationship.
  7. You are worthy of marriage if you can problem solve, handle conflict, and listen.
  8. You are worthy of marriage if you RESPECT THE UNION OF MARRIAGE.
  9. You are worthy of marriage if you know how to create BOUNDARIES to keep others out of your relationship.
  10. You are worthy of marriage if you are able to spend the rest of your life giving the other person the advantage, so that their needs are fulfilled.