As a couples counselor who specializes in premarital Counseling, I have noticed a pattern of common couple problems. Many couples have relationship friction before marriage and experience an increase during wedding planning. I counsel couples, I teach couples, and I help individuals with their relationship problems. Here are some common complaints by couples before the wedding.
- Lack of trust
- Inability to problem solve
- Parents or in laws are allowed to interfere
- Money problems
- Spending too much time with opposite sex friends
Premarital Counseling is important Premarital Counseling Workshop
Well, you have bought the dress, ordered the flowers, and paid for the tuxedos, this should be the happiest time in your life. Something is wrong, and it is hard to explain.
The Bride To Be:
“When we were dating everything seemed good, but now that we have moved in together, I’m learning things about you that I didn’t realize before. Sometimes I wonder if we really know each other. I notice that when you are angry, you become physically intimidating. I notice that when you are mad at me that you give me the silent treatment for a week. I try to talk to you but that just seems to make you more angry. I heard you talking to your mother the other day about our problems, but you won’t talk to me. Lately, you are spending more time with your friends then you spend with me.”
The Groom To Be:
“When I come home I’m tired and you seem to want to talk. When I want sex, you don’t want to be bothered. When your parents come for a visit, you push me to the side and the three of you plan our wedding, without any input from me. I try to talk to you but you just get sad, cry, or you over-talk me. Lately, I have been talking to a co-worker, because I feel like I don’t have anyone else to talk to. We are supposed to get married in two months, but I have doubts, as it seems that we don’t really know a lot about each other and now those differences are starting to appear.”
Here are ten signs that you may not REALLY know your fiancé
- If you have not known and dated your fiancé for at least a year and a half. Meaning you dated for a year before accepting a proposal
- If you have not discussed important issues like money, sex, religion, etc.
- If you have not seen all aspects of his or her personality (range of emotion) sadness, anger etc.
- If you have not figured out how to have a PRODUCTIVE argument/conflict
- If you have not met all immediate and important family and friends
- If you have not discussed whether or not you want to have children
- If you have negative feelings toward your fiancé’s friends or family that you have not discussed or resolved
- If you have NOT discussed prior sexual and medical history (disorders, diseases etc.)
- If you don’t trust or have concern about your fiancé’s character
- If you and your fiancé live in different states and have dated and established a relationship LONG distance
If you need one on one coaching or counseling regarding your engagement please complete the form below.
via Daily Prompt: Perplexed
Relationships are complicated, whether we are at the beginning, the middle, or the ending phase, relationships take a lot of work. Often couples feel perplexed about their relationship status, according to the Merriam Webster dictionary app, perplexed is defined as being filled with uncertainty or the inability to understand something clearly. This is normal, however many couples enter into engagement and feel uncertain about not only their relationship status, but issues related to the planning of the wedding day. If you are feeling perplexed then perhaps you should address these feelings in couples counseling.
Here are some common issues that engaged couples feel perplexed about during the engagement stage.
- Their partner’s personality traits (anger, manipulation, laziness, difficulty managing money, not being truthful, lack of interest in sex, and conflict with perspective in-laws)
- Feeling as if they have rushed into the engagement phase
- Feeling that they are not ready to live with their partner on a daily basis
- Inability to communicate directly
- Inability to resolve conflict
- Inability to show affection
- Inability to move past prior cheating incidents
- Inability to stop cheating on partner
- Fear that you are going to miss out on the single life with friends
- Concern about physical or verbal abuse
If you are engaged and experiencing any of the above concerns, by all means, find a premarital counselor. Counselors who are specially trained can assist you with identifying key problems and resolving those issues, before entering a legally and spiritually binding marriage.